Questions

I should stop trusting people. Really.

Pardon the angst, but really, why is it that the people whom I expect to come through during problematic times never do, and the people whom I don’t expect anything from are the ones who usually end up helping? (And yes, I used the word “usually” because “always” is still not applicable.)

So I end up feeling guilty because the people I don’t expect to help me are the ones who help me, and frustrated because the people whom I turn to for help suddenly become like strangers who don’t care about me at all.

I know it’s not fair to expect people to help me. I just thought that the whole point of having friends was so that when you’re sad, there’ll be people who will at least cheer you up. I mean hey, I’m not expecting them to give me all their time, I’m sure they’ve got problems too. But I was told that no man was an island and that “we’re all in this together” (sorry for the HSM quote), and here I find out that apparently, that’s not true.

I totally don’t get why some people would say “If you ever need anything just call me,” and then when you actually do need something and call them, they’re ‘too busy’ or whatever other excuse they can think of. Why be friendly towards people when you’re not planning on becoming friends? Why not just ignore everyone so you don’t have to worry about people annoying you later on with their problems? I would never tell someone that I’m “there for him/her” when I really don’t plan to be his/her friend in the long run. And when I ask a person if there’s anything I can do to help, and he/she tells me something, I really try to do it. I thought that was how the world worked. What’s with all this “Learn to face your problems on your own” crap?!


On an unrelated note, does anyone know where I can buy the DVD set of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, the Extended version? I know it’s available in Amazon, but other than the internet, is there any place in the Philippines I can buy this from? I haven’t seen it in Astrovision or any of the DVD stores I’ve been to. Or can someone at least confirm that it’s not sold in the Philippines so I can be sure that there’s no other way to get it but to order it online?

Thanks.

It’s Personal

Why do people sometimes think that pointing out how your problems are no different than anyone else’s problems will actually make you feel better?

I really hate it when people say something like “That’s nothing new. I’ve heard worse stuff than that.”

Why are you supposed to feel better when you find out that other people have it worse? It doesn’t make your situation any less bad. Nor does it make it any easier. So what if other people have gone through what you’re going through? Does that mean you can do away with your own problems? Why the need to point out how trivial people’s problems are? Whatever it is, big or small, everything that happens to a person is part of his/her life, something that makes him/her who he/she is. So please don’t dismiss it as something like a statistic you read off of a newspaper.

Example: Say your friends who are in a relationship break-up. They’ve been together for years, and then they fight, and then they break-up. Everyone knows that relationships don’t work out sometimes. Millions upon millions of people have experienced heartbreak ever since the world began. But so what? Will that information make your friends feel any better? Will it make them kiss and make-up with their boyfriends/girlfriends and forget they ever fought? I don’t know about you, but I think

OF COURSE NOT!

It doesn’t help at all. It even only makes it worse because you’re just making that person feel stupid for reacting the way he/she is reacting. You’re making it appear that his/her feelings don’t matter in this big complicated world. He’s just another person, there are at least 6 billion others, so why should he be any different? Why should he be treated special?

It’s the worst way to “comfort” someone, if that is your intention when you try to point out that other people are in worse situations. Nevermind that you have nothing to say or do but nod your head or shrug. That gesture at least shows sympathy. Or if not that, honesty, that you don’t know what to say or have no idea how he/she really feels.