The Problem With Time

The problem with time is that sometimes it’s what heals you, but sometimes it’s what kills you.

It’s easy to feel loved by someone when the taste of their kiss is still fresh on your lips, when you have but to look a few inches further to see the sincerity in their eyes, when you have but to whisper to ask them any question you want, and they can answer you by wiping the tears off your face, or smiling at you, or kissing you again.

It’s easy to remember that you’re loved by someone when all this just happened yesterday. When, when you said you would meet each other, you only needed 20 minutes and 7 pesos to do so. When your work schedules are only three hours apart and you have the same days off for holidays. When the weather you’re experiencing is so similar that you could share an umbrella.

Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Or is absence better at making you forget?

The more time separates us, the easier it is to forget what happened between us. Or if there is even anything between us left. Or if there was ever anything at all. What was that you said to me again? Was it samba music playing at the restaurant or jazz? Did you smile at me and then touch my cheek? Or did you touch my cheek and then smile at me?

When it had been only a week since we were apart, I was able to talk about every detail. And I could tell everyone with confidence that our love could make it. We could see it through. Distance wasn’t a threat. What with technology and determination, there isn’t anything we wouldn’t be able to do.

I was so set on overcoming the problem of distance, though, I never thought to think of the problem of time. Time that unlike distance, which can more or less remain at approximately 3,000 kilometers, just stretches further and further without limits. Isn’t it now 16 weeks, 4 days, 23 hours and 48 minutes since we last saw each other? Yesterday it was just 16 weeks and 3 days.

While I know it will only take me a mere 4 hours on a plane to get to where you are, I have no idea how long it will take for you to remember what you said, how you felt, or how you made me feel that time when you kissed me and held me and looked into my eyes and said that you loved me, 16 weeks and… oh look at the time, 5 days ago.

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