Some nice people were in the pantry talking to me about Game of Thrones and Elf (really, it was about Peter Dinklage). I love movies and I love Game of Thrones but somehow I wanted to leave as soon as I could because I was just afraid of making a fool of myself. I was afraid that there might be an awkward silence for two seconds and it would be all my fault and that somehow would make them hate me. So I gave a weak smile, said I haven’t seen Elf yet and made my way out of the room.
It’s of course irrational. It doesn’t make sense and I know that I might’ve come off as even ruder than if I’d stayed there a bit longer and tried to chat with them, awkward silences and all. But, I don’t know. Somehow, I’ve developed a fear of people. Even of the nice ones whom I see every day. I don’t know why.