Life, Writing

Note to Self:

Remember how in high school, the guy you liked didn’t like you back? That just a week after you shared that funny moment when he volunteered to come with you to the auditorium to take pictures of the quiz bee for the school paper and your Statistics teacher winked at you because she was sure there was puppy love between the two of you what with how you passed each other notes in class and copied each others’ homework.

Yeah, remember how only a week after all that, you saw him holding hands with a girl you’d never even seen him talk to before and yet he was suddenly proclaiming to the world that they were madly in love?

And that it didn’t even matter that everyone else, your Statistics teacher especially, raised their eyebrows and shook their heads and said that no, that wasn’t what was supposed to happen. He liked you. Everybody could see it. Why else would he have volunteered to help you with the school paper, right? And why else would he have said ‘sorry’ in front of the class and given you that candy bar when you got a low grade on that group report and it was all his fault?

Just remember all of that; how embarassing it was when you actually told your Statistics teacher that she got it all wrong. Remember how much it hurt when you heard they were going to the prom together, remember how you still had to see them holding hands and linking arms and sharing food in the canteen every single day after that week, and remember how they were still together even when you all went off to college and studied in different schools, which proved to you that they actually did fall in love and it wasn’t just a high school social status thing.

Remember all of that, especially how much it used to make you cry. Remember all those nights you skipped reading chapters of your books and got a low score on your quiz the next day.

Remember that. And then, remember that you got over it.

That when you think about it now, that when you look back on it now, you don’t even shed a tear. Remember that you don’t even know if they’re still together and that you never found out when they graduated or what their jobs are. Remember that if you somehow hear from friends or old classmates that they eventually got married and had several kids together, you can honestly say that you’re happy for them.

Remember that. And then, believe that if you could get over something like that once, if you could pull yourself together and make yourself feel better again after all of that once, then you can do it again.

And soon. Now, preferably.


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