I’ve deliberately been avoiding writing about this, mainly for the reason that I don’t think I’m qualified to say anything about it. Having never cared very much about patriotism and the state of our country, I fear that whatever I say, even if I manage to come up with the right words, will feel hypocritical.
So, I’ll do away with all the beautiful words and socially and politically relevant messages. There are enough of those in the blogosphere, I’m sure. Instead, I will talk about lighter things, the way I always do.
I’m stuck in the office right now. I was supposed to have left about 4 hours ago, but my parents told me about the traffic situation at South Super Highway (that place I need to pass by everyday to get home from my office), and recommended that I just stay here and wait for my brother who is at a friend’s house for a party, and won’t be leaving until later tonight.
“Don’t even attempt to take the bus home. I imagine all the roads are blocked by now. If not by other vehicles then by people,” my dad said. He’d been watching the news all day and told me that the roads leading to our house were all congested, and that if I was going to get stuck, he’d rather it be here, in an office building, with my officemates and the security guards, than out there, in a public vehicle, with strange people around me.
“No problem,” I said. Because I myself would rather be here, too. Although, at the same time, I do wish that I was also out in the streets. And not just because I’m on my way home, but because at some level, I do want to be part of what’s going on in our country right now. It’s probably nothing but a huge inconvenience to a lot of people– people on the roads, following a very slow-moving truck carrying the remains of a former president. It’s causing traffic jams, and all kinds of mayhem I imagine. Or then again, maybe not. It is after all, the burial of one of the most well-loved figures in Philippine history, and if there ever was an occasion where people can get away with blocking the streets, even major ones like the South Super Highway, it would be that.
It’s raining today, too. And that is my other regret: That I couldn’t spend more time with the rain. I would’ve wanted to walk in the rain today, so I could say that I was one of the millions (okay, maybe not millions, but it certainly looks like it from the photos I’ve seen) who got wet, just to show how much we loved our former president. I know, it was raining nearly every day last week, too, and we didn’t think of those incidents as a symbol for anything. But there were also days when it was sunny, and so I think the fact that this wasn’t one of the sunny days, can make the rain be symbolic.
Looking at it realistically, or pessimistically (which is more usual for me), I don’t think anything’s going to change. Not really. Things may be very dramatic now, but wait ’til tomorrow, and it’s probably going to be the same old story again. Crooks here and there, both in and out of the government. And we citizens go back to our lives of apathy, because it’s just too tiring to care. But what is it that people always say that makes life worth living? Isn’t it the little fleeting moments of joy that make you feel like things are surreal?
Look, Tita Cory! The sky decided to weep with the rest of us! I guess it loves you, too. 🙂