Why do people sometimes think that pointing out how your problems are no different than anyone else’s problems will actually make you feel better?
I really hate it when people say something like “That’s nothing new. I’ve heard worse stuff than that.”
Why are you supposed to feel better when you find out that other people have it worse? It doesn’t make your situation any less bad. Nor does it make it any easier. So what if other people have gone through what you’re going through? Does that mean you can do away with your own problems? Why the need to point out how trivial people’s problems are? Whatever it is, big or small, everything that happens to a person is part of his/her life, something that makes him/her who he/she is. So please don’t dismiss it as something like a statistic you read off of a newspaper.
Example: Say your friends who are in a relationship break-up. They’ve been together for years, and then they fight, and then they break-up. Everyone knows that relationships don’t work out sometimes. Millions upon millions of people have experienced heartbreak ever since the world began. But so what? Will that information make your friends feel any better? Will it make them kiss and make-up with their boyfriends/girlfriends and forget they ever fought? I don’t know about you, but I think
OF COURSE NOT!
It doesn’t help at all. It even only makes it worse because you’re just making that person feel stupid for reacting the way he/she is reacting. You’re making it appear that his/her feelings don’t matter in this big complicated world. He’s just another person, there are at least 6 billion others, so why should he be any different? Why should he be treated special?
It’s the worst way to “comfort” someone, if that is your intention when you try to point out that other people are in worse situations. Nevermind that you have nothing to say or do but nod your head or shrug. That gesture at least shows sympathy. Or if not that, honesty, that you don’t know what to say or have no idea how he/she really feels.