Of course, although it is already implied as this is a personal blog, I’d like to start with the disclaimer of “To each his own.” And you may interpret my words as bitter or jealous or whatever other emotion you’d like to project on me, but as much as I can, or as much as I know, I’m being very honest right now.
Two of my friends got married recently (actually more of them have, there have been more than one set of wedding pictures appearing in my News Feed almost if not every week since I turned 27) and they’ve just posted pictures of their respective honeymoons. One couple went to a really awesome local destination, another went to a really awesome international destination. Equally astounding places, equally breathtaking pictures, and I’m really really happy for them.
But here’s my opinion: I feel slightly sad that they went to those places for the first time in the context of a honeymoon. I honestly don’t know why I feel this way (and I suppose, because it’s a feeling, then there’s really no logical explanation) but I never liked the idea of a “tour” as a honeymoon.
A few years ago, a friend told me that she was feeling jealous of a friend who went country-hopping with her husband right after her wedding. I told her that there was nothing to be jealous about. Country-hopping in Europe is not what you should ideally do after a wedding. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with country-hopping, but, don’t they know how tiring that is? Even if you flew business class on all your flights, those still entail unpacking and repacking, getting through airport security, going through customs, looking for your airport pickup, showing your reservation print outs to different hotel receptionists and having irregular hours of sleep. I’m not saying that these experiences wouldn’t be fun as a couple, but I think they’ll certainly take away some quality time from you and your spouse. When you’re so busy making sure your passport is in your bag, or you’re dressed right for the weather you’re not used to, I think, the focus gets taken away from bonding with your partner somehow. Of course, I don’t actually know, as I’m not a married person, but this is just what I think.
As well, going to a place for the first time is something really special that, I don’t know if I want to share the experience with a honeymoon. I mean, because going on a honeymoon is a special experience by itself, I think that discovering a new place will take the focus away from that if you do both at the same time. I travel to new places with my friends and my family all the time and I think, aside from being alone (I can’t travel solo, I’m a little girl with no street smarts), this is the best way to see a place for the first time. Because there are no expectations that the experience should be romantic or magical or honeymoon-worthy so you can do what you want and if the place turns out to be bad then so what?
I mean, okay, I know it’s also a great way to bond when everything goes wrong on your trip because you’ll end up getting to know the other person better because of it. So I think that there’s nothing wrong with going to a place for the first time with your partner on a weekend or on one of your anniversaries. Or on a Tuesday. But don’t do it on your honeymoon.
Maybe it’s because I think a honeymoon is/should be a vacation from the craziness of wedding planning, that’s why I think it should be as chill as ever, with the couple just spending a few days or even a week in just one place, relaxing every day of the trip and not thinking about the next train they’ll have to catch, or the next photo they’re going to take because they’re in a famous place that’s difficult to get to and they might never see it again. Or, I don’t know. It could also be because I just have so much fun traveling with my friends and family and I’m so used to it that I can’t imagine a trip being better with a boyfriend. Or maybe I’m just really selfish, actually, because when I look at the selfies I’ve taken on my trips with my parents or friends, I’m really happy that there’s no one else in the shot with me*. :P
* Of course you can still take selfies alone even when you’re with your spouse, but seriously, wouldn’t that be weird?