* Creating Enchantment *

Wala lang. Wala talaga akong sasabihin. Gusto ko lang ‘yan gawing title ng blog post, pero wala akong maisip na content. Sasabihin ko na lang kung bakit ko ‘yan naisip na title.

Kasi meron talagang dinosaur sa labas ng bintana ko. Promise. Hindi ito play of words, or trick statement. Hindi tipong laruan na dinosaur or kunwari, building na ang pangalan ‘eh “Dinosaur”. Alam kong iniisip n’yo. Imposible ‘yun. Wala nang dinosaur sa mundo. Extinct na sila matagal na. Sa museum na lang sila makikita. Pero wala naman ako sa museum at may nakikita ako. Hindi ko rin alam kung paano. At eto pa: Ako lang ang nakakakita sa kanya. Sa tuwing dumudungaw ako sa labas ng bintana, nakikita ko siya (P.S. May Tagalog word ba for “dinosaur”?). Pero ‘pag tinatanong ko ang iba kong officemates, hindi nila nakikita. Wala daw kahit ano, kahit “something resembling a dinosaur” ay wala silang nakikita.

So eto ang conclusion ko: Multo siya. Mayroong nagmumultong dinosaur, at nasa labas siya ng building namin, sa may bintana ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, hindi ko alam kung paano, pero kung totoo ang sinasabi ng tatay ko na nakikita niyang muli ang namatay na naming aso tuwing may nirerenovate sa bahay namin (dahil galit ang aso namin sa mga karpintero, naiingayan siya sa kanila), ay posible rin sigurong magmulto ang mga dinosaur. Siguro hindi lang natin napapansin dahil masyado silang malaki, at tuwing nasa kalsada tayo ‘eh mga paa lang nila ang nakikita natin, at siyempre dahil malaki nga, ‘eh hindi sila talaga mukhang paa. Baka mukha lang halaman, o kaya putikan.

‘Yon. Baka lang naman. Malay natin.

Just a few minutes ago, I was left alone at the table in the office pantry, eating the ice cream I ordered, but didn’t know about until somebody told me that it was time to eat, because it was only then that they realized that they didn’t copy me in any of the e-mails that talked about how the food we had delivered had already arrived.

Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else experiences it, being left out, I mean. It has often happened to me, wherein I’m the only one left eating, but everyone else around me is already fixing up their dishes, and cleaning the table. I don’t blame them. We’re in the office after all, and so we don’t have the luxury of taking our time. We have transactions to go back to, deadlines, phone calls… Still, I find it kind of sad.

Because I eat so slowly, I get left behind. Because I have interests so different from everyone else, less people talk to me. I’m not blaming anyone for this, because it’s not anyone’s fault. It is probably mostly mine, because I’m the one who eats slowly and I’m the one who doesn’t watch TV (and so I don’t know about what TV shows they’re watching, and I don’t know the names of celebrities and who they’re going out with). I am finding it difficult to understand though, that whenever I think that I’m different, people will tell me that I’m really not. They’ll tell me that I’m just like everyone else, and that liking science fiction, and j-doramas, and Lawrence Block and Renee Olstead is nothing out of the ordinary. Yet, whenever I try to talk to them about these topics, they are not interested. And I am left with a forced smile on my face, whenever they talk about Gretchen Barretto or whoever else has a scandalous news item at the moment.

I am trying to be interested in the things that others are interested in. I read synopses of Kung Fu Panda, and asked about what Hancock is about. But you know as well as I do, we can’t all be interested in everything. And that there will always be some things that we won’t like. I don’t just not like Dreamworks animated films because they are mainstream. I don’t like them because their stories are inconsistent, the animation mediocre, and the dialogue predictable. I don’t like Star Trek because nobody else likes it. I like it because it stimulates my imagination, and sometimes my sense of morality, or my philosophy. I don’t hate R&B because the bullies in my high school listened to it. I hate it because I don’t enjoy listening to a 5-note sequence being repeated 700 times. It’s not because everyone talks about Kris Aquino and that’s why I don’t like talking about her. It’s just because I don’t think there’s anything special about her worth talking about.

It is a bit tiring to be polite all the time. Sometimes, I think it’s better to eat lunch alone, just so I won’t have to force myself to act like I’m enjoying the conversations. But I don’t really want to eat alone. I don’t want to not have any friends. I want to get along with everyone. I want to be friendly. I want people to like talking to me. But somehow, the things I like, people don’t like. The things I find funny, people don’t get. And the few people who do get them, are all so very far far away. Farther than a phone call, farther than an e-mail… Farther than the phrase “I’m sorry.”

*tired sigh*

This weekend was sooo tiring! But that’s kind of weird, considering I didn’t really do much except watch movies and meet up with friends for dinner. Anyway, I personally don’t think it’s all that interesting but since this is still a blog then I’m going to tell you about it.

Journey to the Center of the Earth

The choice was between this movie and Mamma Mia. And I chose this one over Mamma Mia because I’m thinking that I have more friends I can drag to Mamma Mia. I don’t think any of my friends are interested in seeing Journey to the Center of the Earth, despite Brendan Fraser’s presence. I think I’m one of the few remaining original fans of Brendan Fraser anyway. (And by “original”, I mean those people who liked him when he was still a teeny bopper cutie boy, like during Encino Man days. If you don’t know that movie, then you’re one of Brendan Fraser’s new fans.)

I’m not going to give it an official review because, well, there’s nothing to tell really. The story is pretty unremarkable– it’s just about this group of people (there’s only 3 of them) who go on a hiking trip and end up in the “center of the Earth” which, according to Jules Verne, happens to be an airpocket containing a combination of living things that have sprung up since the Earth’s creation– meaning, there are dinosaurs as well as ordinary plants, and other species that we no longer see/have never seen before like giant mushrooms (as in, they’re as big as houses) and luminous birds. It’s all very interesting and beautiful to look at. The graphics, special effects, soundtrack and cinematography are amazing, but the story is really really weak. And the dialogue is affected, because with such a simple story, you can’t really do much with the dialogue.

Anyway, I’m not really complaining. I think the story was made as simple as possible as a compromise, to be able to put more special effects into the thing.

Now, I don’t know if this is shown in the IMAX theaters, but it really looks like it was made for that. Or if not, it should really be. I think I would’ve enjoyed it more if I’d seen it 3D. Then again, I’ll enjoy anything that has Brendan Fraser in it, so this probably really isn’t a very fair review.

Linda Linda Linda

The other movie I saw this weekend (just a few hours ago) is one of the movies included in this year’s Eiga Sai. For those of you who don’t know, Eiga Sai is the Japanese film festival sponsored by The Japan Foundation. There’s one every year, and the admission is free. And a lot of people go to it.

I’m actually a bit sad that there are a lot of people who go to the Eiga Sai now. Yeah, I’m selfish that way. I mean, I’ve nothing against supporting the film industries of all nations, but I don’t know. I don’t like too many people liking the things I like because that means longer lines in movie theaters, and more competition in buying merchandise in eBay. (I’ve never actually bought anything from eBay, but you get my point, right?)

Anyway, Linda Linda Linda is lots of fun. It’s very Japanese in the sense that there’s not too much dialog and there isn’t too much happening in the story. It’s another example of that “everyday drama” thing where you think nothing really happens, but when you really think about it, you’ll find some important life lessons being taught.

Plus, I totally love Matsuyama Kenichi. His part in this movie is so small, it’s almost unnoticeable. But it is significant enough that he had a bit more screen time during the ending. And he’s cute to boot. This is the first I’ve seen him wherein he’s not in his L costume. I mean, apart from the interviews and press conferences. (I haven’t seen any of his dramas yet, sorry.)

Friends Friends

Well, I did say that this was about my weekend with friends, right? So last Saturday, I met up with two of my former co-teachers, and we all had a blast hanging out at Pancake House, talking about what’s going on in our lives and joking about highlighters. It was really lots of fun. I always enjoy the “mini reunions” with friends wherein you talk about what’s happening now with you and the others, and then you reminisce about the stuff you went through when you were all together. I wish I could have more days like that with my other friends whom I’ve lost contact with.

Actually, I ran into another friend that evening, someone whom I haven’t seen in a really long time (years, actually). But unfortunately, we only saw each other because we coincidentally rode the same jeepney. But because the ride from the mall to my house is short, we only got to talk for a few minutes (not more than 10). I did tell her though that my number hasn’t changed and she did text me later that night. Hopefully we don’t lose contact again.

And then today, I saw Linda Linda Linda with one of my friends from the office. I wanted to watch We Shall Overcome Someday as well, but we weren’t able to get tickets for it. So we just spent the free time to eat, eat, and eat. Oh, and shop. Again, I impulsively bought a dress (which doubles as a skirt, it’s really great). Waiting inside a mall is really bad for girls. I’m not saying all girls of course, but girls who have tendencies to be shopaholics, like me. You should never make us wait. We lose all our money. Seriously. But the dress is really really cute, and I got it on super sale. I say super because it’s something like 70% off. Yay!

We looked at Barbie dolls, too. To prevent myself from buying more stuff, I suggested we go to the toy store, because that’s a place where I can enjoy looking at stuff in, but would never really buy anything (because I’m not a kid anymore, and I have no space left in my room for toys). Anyway, we looked at Barbie dolls, and we both agreed that Ken looked a lot better in the 80’s. For some reason, the Ken dolls look like some weird surfer dude now, with the bleach blond hair and all. And no, we weren’t just looking at the “summer” Ken dolls.

I had a lot of fun talking about Barbie and looking at the new designs. Some of the styles are ridiculous, like the Mariposa Barbie, in which big (really big) butterfly wings are attached to Barbie’s back. But some of them are really cute, like the City Girl Barbie, whose clothes would work for real people who live in the city.

Anyway, that’s enough updates. I think I’m boring you anyway. Have a great week y’all!

So I told you before that the team I’m in in the office is a bit distant from the rest of the teams in the department, right? Well, I just found out today, from one of my teammates, that apparently, in the last summer outing, there was something like a department group picture, but our team wasn’t in it. Of course, we had several pictures of our team as well, but other than our own team members, and those in the other department we’re friends with, there were hardly any other people in our pictures. It was always just us.

Well, it’s usually the case with us, in company-wide events. Our team would always be doing something diffferent from the rest of the department (from the rest of the company, even). Anyway, my teammate said that she felt sad, because we really didn’t belong with the rest of the teams. And she said that because the rest of the teams have already bonded with each other, then there’s really very little chance left for our team to be part of them.

I totally don’t mind. I actually like it better that way. I’m not saying I don’t like the people from the other teams. They’re fine. They’re probably good people, too. But I have always been one to prefer small groups over large ones. I’ve always been someone who prefers a few close friends over several people who you won’t really get to know all that well anyway. I’m not friendly. And I don’t have any desire to be friendly. Maybe I’ll suffer the consequences of this snobbishness later on. Maybe a time will come wherein I would need help from someone, but since I don’t know that many people, then no one would be able to help me. But that’s actually fine with me. If no one is there to help, then that must mean that whatever problem I’m facing, is something that I should face alone.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m a bad person after all because I don’t feel any sadness towards our being somewhat of an outcast. The truth is, I think I’ve been purposefully distancing myself from people, purposefully making myself an outsider, because I like it better. It’s a lot easier, because you have less people to worry about, less people to think about. And although you have less people to share things with, and find out about, that’s really fine with me. Like I said, I’d rather get to know a few people really really well, than be friends with a lot of people who I won’t really be able to be myself with.

I already know all this about myself. I’ve no problems with it. So why am I writing about it now? I guess I just feel guilty because I told my teammate something that I think sounds a bit mean. See, she was feeling sad because she felt our team didn’t belong with the rest of the department, right? And I told her that if she wanted to be part of their group, then she should just go and be a part of them and that there was no need to take the whole team with her.

That’s a mean thing to say, right?

I don’t know. Maybe the rest of my teammates feel like they want to be part of the department too and I’m the only one who doesn’t feel that way. But even if that was the case, I wouldn’t hold them back. They can make friends with whoever they want. And I can not make friends, with people I don’t want to be friends with.

Is it wrong not to feel sad when you find out you’re an outsider? A lot of times, I’ve felt sad because I felt that people never really open up to me. I feel bad because I think that people don’t trust me. But I’ve never blamed anyone but myself for this. I’ve always known that it’s because, most of the time, I’m really not all that interested in what people have to say. That’s bad, right? Because you don’t learn new things that way, when you take only the things you’re interested in, and become indifferent to the information you think you won’t ever need. But I just can’t bring myself to do it. I’ve tried and tried, but I’ve found that I’m just really not interested in the things most people are interested in.

I’m not excited by any of the “reality” shows. I don’t like reading the books that everyone’s reading at the moment. I don’t like watching local television. I am not at all entertained with commercial jingles. I don’t find gay comedians the least bit funny. I don’t think rumors about actors and actresses are worth my time. I will not watch a blockbuster movie just because everyone says it’s good. And most of all, I can’t stand conversations with big groups where you’ll only be able to contribute bits and pieces of your opinion, but you won’t be able to say what you really think.

In fact, if I’m going to be completely, 100%, no politeness involved, honest with all of you, I’m going to admit, that despite my closest friends (and my officemates as well) being really smart and interesting people, there is still nobody whom I feel like I can talk to about anything. Maybe this is the reason why I don’t really like making new friends. Because if I do, I’m just going to have to put up another smiling face, and pretend that I’m a really nice person. And maybe the real reason I like the friends that I have now is because with them, I don’t have to pretend anymore.

It’s 1:47 AM where I’m at. I have been up since 6:30 AM yesterday. And I was out of the house for practically the entire day, learning Japanese, walking the streets of Makati, shopping and talking seemingly endlessly with my friend. I’m so tired right now, can hardly keep my eyes open, but I still can’t bring myself to shut down the computer and go to sleep.

I don’t know why it is really. Somehow I feel like I’m on the verge of writing something really good, but I’m too tired to think. Maybe I should be writing it down now, but I have no idea what it is yet. Does that ever happen to you?

I have so much to do. I haven’t even taken out of their plastic bags the things I bought in the mall earlier, nor covered in plastic my new book for Japanese class. I’ve done nothing since I got home except to change my clothes, brush my teeth, and manage to make both my parents mad by telling them that that 3-year-old Korean kid who won the Beatles fan award for singing Hey Jude in YouTube was nothing special. They made such a big fuss over how he was unique because he can sing Hey Jude even if he doesn’t speak a word of English. I merely pointed out that with songs, we all can sing in whatever language we want, and with kids especially, they just repeat what they hear anyway. I know I didn’t understand Somewhere Out There when I sang it at a Christmas party when I was 5 years old. I just repeated the sounds I heard from the radio.

After I told her what I did, my mom’s exact words were: “Ano bang problema mo sa mundo?” (What is your problem with the world?)

It’s just the over-sensationalizing of things, I guess. I’m going to agree that that kid was talented for being somewhat in tune and having the correct timing to a song, even though he’s only 3 years old, but I’m not going to give him credit for being able to sing something, not in his own language. Because that’s basically just repeating sounds incoherent to you, but don’t all kids do that anyway?

I don’t understand how they can be so enthralled with that kid singing a song by the Beatles, but don’t take it seriously when I tell them how Takeshi Yasutoko’s been competing on the X-Games competition before he was even 10 years old. Tell me, where’s the justice in that?

Well, it’s been over for at least a month, but according to the Beach Boys, summer ends when you want it to, or when you really feel like it’s over. As for me, I guess it just ended today. The 1st of July. (Technically, it’s July 2 now, but I haven’t slept yet so I’m considering this as July 1st still.)

For one thing, today’s the official start of the fiscal year. I don’t want to explain all the details (I think I’m not allowed to anyway), but that’s sort of a big thing in our office. And I did kind of tell myself that I’d definitely make this fiscal year better than the last. So technically, I should be starting to get better right now.

And next, my Elementary 2 Japanese classes have finished. Just last Saturday in fact, and earlier today a representative from the school called me and asked if I was going to continue studying Elementary 3. I said I was, and she said for me to bring my tuition fee this Saturday, because that’s when the next class will start. I don’t get a break at all! But I guess that’s fine, since it’s a language anyway, and you’re really supposed to be learning things continuously.

I also finished the “summer edition” of my office’s unofficial newsletter. For those of you who don’t know, I actually “run” a blog that reports the events of our team (and another department who we’re friends with) in our office. It’s unofficial, and it’s mostly about our birthdays or trips to the beach or wherever, but it’s fun nonetheless. And there are some funny articles about life, and whatnot. Not all of them are written by me of course. We get contributions from the other members. I actually mainly am just the one to post them on the internet, and I take care of the horoscopes, but anyway, the point is that whenever I finish an issue, I do feel a bit proud of myself, for having been able to organize all the information. And this latest issue was particularly difficult for me, because so much has happened in the past month (make that 2 months), that I didn’t know how to consolidate everything into just one issue. Although it’s technically supposed to be a weekly newsletter, but alas, work got in the way, and some personal matters (which mostly refers to my laziness), so I was only able to finish it now. But I think my officemates are pretty happy about it. Maybe you’d like to give it a look, too. It’s in here.

I guess the second half of the year has begun, so everyday we’ll be a little bit closer to 2009. Gah. 2009. It’s such a big number ‘eh? I’m not really fond of this “transition period” in the year, because it also means that it’s nearing my birthday (which is in September), meaning I’ll be a year older again, and that always sucks, since I have a Peter Pan complex and I don’t care how many people older than me tell me that I’m still young. I’m way too old in my opinion. Way too old for my state of mind. I still feel, think, and act like I’m 13. Can’t you tell?

Actually the reason I wrote this entry (and titled it this way) is because I just finished watching Episodes 1 to 12 of Beach Boys (1997), the drama which starred Sorimachi Takashi (Yes, the GTO guy), before he became GTO. It also stars Takenouchi Yutaka, who happens to be the actor who’s got a picure on Fuyutsuki’s wall. (Fuyutsuki is the love interest for GTO, by the way.) So now, I totally get why that poster’s such a big deal in the GTO drama. It’s like an inside joke of sorts, which you probably would’ve gotten if you were Japanese, and you watched the dramas during that era.

I really want to write a review on Beach Boys, but somehow the words to describe it escapes me. Why is it so difficult to talk about beautiful things? I was complaining before on how the summaries for Beach Boys in the drama websites and forums are all so vague. But I know now why they are. It’s because it’s really hard to explain. I think, it falls under that category “everyday drama”. You know, the kind of show where you think nothing’s happening because everything seems so normal, but when you stop to think about it, you’ll feel like you’re learning life’s secrets? Japan has a lot of those things. Not just in TV dramas, but in their books and movies as well. And in manga and anime. I think that’s why I like Japanese shows so much. But I won’t talk about that right now. I won’t be able to stop.

So, Beach Boys is a summer drama (I mean, it’s about summer), and I’m quite happy that I watched it when I did–during the transition period from summer to rainy season. Oh, and I’m happy it won Best Casting during the time it was famous. Because as I watched it, I really felt that the casting was great. The chemistry between the actors (and not just those in the lead roles) was absolutely perfect. You would totally know them, and feel like their friend. Not many dramas can do that. But this one really did.

Anyway, sorry if this entry feels disorganized, the ideas disjointed. I always have a hard time writing, or talking, when I finish watching something really really good. Add to that my love-hate relationship with the 2nd half of the year, my anxiousness on starting a new lesson in Japanese, and all the worry about the things I should’ve done but didn’t because I just watched Beach Boys instead, and well, yeah, this kind of entry is what you get. So I’ll end this now before I embarrass myself more.

Happy 2nd half of the year everyone. If the first half sucked for you, then here’s your chance to make 2008 a great year still. Good luck to all of us.

Also, just a tidbit of news: I just found out that the artists Jon Zamar and Syeri Baet tied the knot (as in got married) last Saturday!!

So, I’m not really close friends with them, but I’ve seen them around in conventions and have had a conversation or two with them. I think Syeri still recognizes me but she’s probably forgotten my name, which is okay really, since I don’t see her that much anyway and the last time we had a conversation that was more than two sentences long was way way back; 5 years ago at least.

That’s actually why I’m happy to hear they’re married, because when I was introduced to them, they weren’t even a couple yet. Just two artists in the same circle, and I was one of the first witnesses to their budding relationship, was even one of the people who teased them (well, I teased Syeri. Jon and I aren’t close at all. I don’t think he knows me.) about it. And now, some years later, I find out they’re married! It’s so cute, right?! I wish happy endings for everyone!!

(This is just a rumor, I think he proposed to her in last year’s Komikon. Or was it the year before? Or was it the day before last year’s Komikon? Ah, whatever. It was around that time.)

Wai wai, it’s 6:59 in the morning and I’m in the office already. Still very very sleepy…

It’s all to do with the car, you see. For those not in Metro Manila, there’s this rule wherein you can’t use your cars from 7AM ’til 7PM on a certain day, if your car’s plate number ends with a certain number. It’s to reduce the volume of cars on the road, for better traffic, supposedly. Point being, since our car’s plate ends with a “7″, we had to leave the house extra early so my mom would be in her office before 7AM.

Hence, I got to my office at 6:20AM.

I guess there are nice things about being here in the early morning. There’s less people (so less noise), for one. And the view from the window is a lot better. I got to see the remnants of the sunrise on the highway, too. That was nice.

So that’s it. I just wanted to greet you all a good morning, because it’s one of those rare times that I’m actually awake early enough to say it.

Ohayou Gozaimasu!

Find Out Which Disney Girl You Are! created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Alice Have you fallen down the rabbit hole lately? Or played croquet with a deck of cards? Either way, you’re so very much like Alice! Her wild imagination and constant ability to daydream got her in so much trouble - you’ve probably heard your mother or teacher lecture you about having your head in the clouds! Remember to stay grounded most of the time, however, because life can get away from you when you’re always dreaming about someplace else! Alice 83% Belle 67% Megara 67% Jane 67% Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) 63% Mulan 58% Tinkerbell 58% Violet 54% Pocahontas 50% Snow White 50% Jasmine 50% Cinderella 46% Ariel 38% Esmerelda 21%

Yay! I’m Alice! I like her! Well, I mean, I like her story. And I do wish I could find that Wonderland…