Mental Illusion

Is there such a thing as a Mental Illusion? It’s just like an Optical Illusion, except that it has nothing to do with vision, and more to do with thoughts, or maybe a person’s state of mind. When in Optical Illusions, it’s like you’re seeing something that isn’t there, with Mental Illusions, you’re thinking of something that’s not really true. Or maybe that’s called Delusion. But with delusions, that means that you’re actually convinced that what you’re thinking is the truth. Whereas with mental illusion, you actually know that it’s not true, but your mind makes you think in such a way that you think it might be true. Or perhaps, despite it being true, because it has some illusion-like qualities, you would have moments wherein you’d think again about it, and consider if it really is true or not. Like you’re fooling yourself, but because you’re aware that you’re fooling yourself, then it’s not a delusion, wherein you’re ignorant that what you believe in is a lie.

I’m confusing you, aren’t I? Let me illustrate:

I guess I thought of this because as I was walking out of the office earlier, I suddenly had a feeling that I was only in the building for an interview, or maybe an OJT. Don’t ask me why, but despite my being there everyday, somehow, earlier today, when I walked out of the glass doors, I felt awkward passing through it, as if it wasn’t something I did on a regular basis. It felt like I was just dreaming about being a member of the “workforce”, but that I would wake up soon, and when I did I would be in high school, and I would prepare to wear my uniform and my white socks and my black shoes. Does anyone else feel this way?

I’ve always had a problem coping with change, but this has never happened to me before. Although I often reminisce about things in the past, I’ve never felt all that awkward about my present state. Except for today. Today, I felt like the past 5 years weren’t real. I felt as though I had only been watching something like “what my life could be”, because maybe I’m still 16 and pondering on what course to take in college or something like that. Or maybe I’m just too immature and that’s why I’m still not quite convinced that I actually am working now, and that school, at least the kind of school you have before you graduate college, will never again happen for me. Even if I study again now, it’ll be a graduate class, or a specialty class like cooking (this is just an example. I don’t think I’ll ever study cooking). It won’t be like high school wherein you have classmates you’ll see everyday and share your schedule with. The projects wouldn’t just need materials you can buy from the local bookstore, or stuff you find at home.

Actually, I think what brought about the “mental illusion” were the elevators. When I was a student, I didn’t get to see that many elevators. Buildings were only 4 floors high, and in case there weren’t any classes, I’d just be hanging out in the canteen anyway. Those days, the only time I got to ride elevators were the times in which I would visit my mom in her office. So that’s why it was sort of like a deja vu when I rode the elevator earlier, and felt like I was in college again. I felt like I was just meeting my mom, instead of actually going to work, like my mom does.

I’m totally not making any sense, am I? Sorry if I sound confusing. My mind is actually swirling with several ideas right now, and I’m too tired (or too lazy) to force myself to make sense of all of ‘em. But I didn’t want to lose this idea so I typed it right away, despite it not being all that orderly.

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Off-topic: Does anyone have a copy of the song “Ranning” by The Phanky Okstra? It’s a Japanese song, and was the opening theme of the Japanese drama, Pink no Idenshi. I’m suddenly addicted to it. Will anyone lend me a copy?

If Only DS Games Had Subtitles…

So my friend A was nice enough to burn me some games when she found out I had a Nintendo DS Lite (which is just like hers in fact, down to the color). She was all excited about it, I didn’t have the heart to tell her I hadn’t yet figured out how to work the thing and had no clue how to add games onto it, and have in fact, been playing only 2 games (the ones my brother had put in) for the past 3 months that I’ve had it. Anyway, she admitted to not having actually played the games she’d burnt on the CD, and asked me to tell her what I think of them, so she’ll know which ones to put on her DS. Being her friend, I agreed, and finally, after 3 months, I read what an R4 is and the instructions on how to use it.

2 days later (that’s today), I find out that that was a big mistake.

Okay, here’s something that people who don’t know me very well might find useful: I like doing things on my own time, at my own pace. And I don’t like it when people try to ruin that. I know, of course, that they don’t do it on purpose. I understand their excitement and their need to share their joy when they discover something great. I’m really happy they consider me as one of the people they share their happy thoughts with, and that they want to talk to me about things that they like. But… it kind of, sort of… messes up things.

For example: I said that after watching Wonderful Life, I would take a break from J-doramas because I’m lacking so much sleep because of them. But then, we suddenly had to watch Zettai Kareshi for my Japanese class. Technically, it wasn’t required. But it was definitely an advantage to see it, because you’ll understand better the topics being talked about in class. So I watched it. And because Mizushima Hiro is in it, I’m suddenly fangirling for him instead of Sorimachi Takashi, whom I hadn’t finished fangirling for.

I know what you’re going to say. It’s petty. I know it is. In fact, I know that it’s very petty. But what can I say? I somehow feel cheated because I saw Zettai Kareshi before I wanted to see it.

And the same goes for these DS games. I actually have a lot of things going on at the moment. I still haven’t finished the newsletter for my office, haven’t finished writing the chapters of a short story I’m writing for a friend, haven’t called the cable company as an errand for my mom, haven’t gotten all the documents I need for something, haven’t quite gotten the hang of the new tasks I’m doing for work, haven’t done my homework in Japanese class… Seriously, my “To Do List” is still so long. Which is why, I didn’t want to get into this whole Nintendo DS world. Not yet. I figured I’d do that when I finished at least the first 10 tasks in my “To Do List”. And although I’m not one to say procrastinating is bad (hehehe), still, I don’t like it when people mess with my procsrastinating skills.

Okay, I know this is all just me, trying to blame other people for my own faults. If I were really responsible, and I really wanted to get things done, I’d tell my friend that I don’t have enough time to check out the games, and that I’ll just play them next time. But here’s another thing about me: I’m a total pushover. I hope you don’t take advantage of that, but I really kind of am. I may seem bossy when I’m with my friends, but seriously, when someone asks me to do something (it has to be at least a bit reasonable though — meaning, I don’t just give out money to anyone, or do their homework or go to the moon), it’s very hard for me to say no. Especially to my friends. Hence, this semi-rant.

But… I’m getting off-topic, aren’t I? This post is supposed to be about games! See the title?

See, upon turning on the DS to see the games that my friend had lent me, I discovered something: They were all in Japanese. Not surprising really, since she’s a friend from my Japanese class. But alas, my understanding of Japanese is just not the same as hers, so I actually barely understood any of the games. To play them, I relied on the good ol’ trial and error method, which is fine with the easy ones, but when a games goes to “Story Mode”, I get lost completely. So, to make my life easier, I decided to download an English version of one of the games that I liked, Bleach.

I was happy when I could finally read the instructions and understand the directions written. But I was not happy as soon as I started playing it because, well, it was dubbed. I mean, the characters spoke in English, which isn’t a bad thing I guess, if you didn’t see the anime in Japanese and with just the subtitles to understand them. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but somehow I find Kentaro Ito’s “Hoiru Zabimaru!!” way way way better than whoever dubbed for Renji in the English version and used “Roar Zabimaru!!” instead. And the accent for “Zabimaru” is English, too. Since this is in text form, I’ll try to describe it as accurately as I can: The “r” in the Japanese version of Zabimaru is a hard R, but with the English accent, it’s a soft R. Hence, it’s not as scary as if you said it in Japanese. Another thing I want to get nitpicky about is Byakuya’s voice. Since in the Japanese version, he’s all royal and serious, with his low nonchalant tone. But in the English version, his voice is too expressive. It has too many tones and it just sounds too strong.

It just doesn’t feel the same. I don’t mean to be offensive to the English language. I love the English language. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be using it so much, would I? I guess, what I don’t like is… the voice talents of the English language? Or maybe… The English accent when it’s used on Japanese words (or Filipino words, for that matter)? Or okay, to be fair, the Japanese and Filipino accent on English words also sound weird. But in this case, I’m talking about Japanese words. I don’t know, somehow the cool Japanese words sound lame because they sound too soft. Like when an announcer says Takeshi Yasutoko’s name and pronounces it as “Yah-suh-tow-kow”. It sounds like a girl’s name when it’s said that way. Or maybe it’s me and my ears that have a problem. Is it?

Either way, I’ve decided not to delete either game (Japanese and U.S. version, there’s a European version too, which I might download just to see the difference. Maybe they all speak with British accents? Or maybe they’re all polite and have lines like “By the by, it appears that I must kill you now, however unsettling that may be.” Hehehe, that’ll be real interesting!) so I can check the English version whenever I need to read something, but when I’m playing, I’ll use the Japanese version so the sound effects are better.

Pinakagwapo sa…

Dahil ako ay fangirl na walang lovelife sa tunay na buhay, naisipan kong gumawa ng post na ganito.

Here is my sentence pattern for today:

Pinakagwapo si ( insert name of male celebrity here ) sa ( insert title of drama series/movie/event here ) bilang ( insert name of character here ) .

Okey? Let’s start!

Disclaimer: This is of course, only my opinion. And if you disagree, you’re more than welcome to point me towards another drama series/movie/event wherein mas-gwapo ang hitsura nila.

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10. Takenouchi Yutaka in Beach Boys as Kaito.

I’m not sure if this is a screenshot from the drama, I don’t think it is. But he looks the same here as he did then, so this is still the look of his that I like the most.

Actually, I have yet to see more of his dramas. This is the first and only one I’ve seen so far, but he’s pretty good, so I’ll probably be stalking him soon. Hehehe.

9. Kaneshiro Takeshi in Perhaps Love as Lin Jian Dong.

Also not a screenshot from the actual movie, but this is one of the pictures from the publicity posters so it’s all good. The best part is that he sings in this movie too. Yay!

8. Oguri Shun in Hana Kimi as Sano Izumi.

Okay, this is probably the one most people won’t agree with me on, because most of my friends like his look better in Hana Yori Dango, but hey, to each his own, right? I’m just more partial to black hair. At least, with this particular guy.

Anyway, chose this screenshot even if Horikita Maki is in it (Don’t get me wrong, I like her, too. But she’s a girl.), because of Shun’s “pained expression”. He’s so emo in this drama, it’s like he’s carrying the weight of the world, ne? (Although I’m sure Horikita Maki isn’t heavy.)

7. Ikuta Toma in Hana Kimi as Nakatsu Shuichi.

Yay for Ikuta Toma! He won Best Supporting Actor for this role! It took me a long time to choose which picture of him as Nakatsu to pick because he looks so good in all of them! But I chose this one because of his “faraway look”. *sighs* Faraway looks are the best. *blushes*

6. Kubozuka Yosuke in Onatsuki as Tetsuya.

I just found out that this is Yosuke’s (Yesss, close kami?! ) comeback movie from his alleged suicide attempt. (Heheh, alleged na, attempt pa! Lupet, diba!?) Well, you definitely won’t find any traces of whatever was disturbing him then, he looked so good (and so responsible) in this movie!

5. Yamashita Tomohisa in Weeeek as a salaryman.

Okay, so that’s not the best screenshot, but it’s really hard to get screenshots! Anyway, this is one of my favorite songs of NewS, it’s the first one I heard from them. Hehe, I first heard it in Harajuku, one of the shops was playing the PV on its TV, and I lingered a longer time than I should’ve inside the shop, just so I could finish watching it. Hehehe, I’ve never even heard about NewS then, but I liked this song right away! And I thought I wouldn’t hear it again, but my luck made it fall into my lap. My friend K just shared the file of the PV to me. Really. I didn’t even have to ask for it! Therefore, I think Fate wants me to like Yamapi. Hehehe.

4. Mizushima Hiro in Zettai Kareshi as Asamoto Soushi.

Also a very difficult choice since Hiro’s just sooo good-looking that he looks great in anything he’s been in. And that includes his Kamen Rider Kabuto days, and the ones he did between that and Zettai Kareshi. I haven’t really been giving him much attention though, but hopefully that’ll change. BTW, Oguri Shun earlier had the “pained expression” and Ikuta Toma had the “faraway look”. In this picture, Hiro has both that. Yay for good acting!

3. Tamaki Hiroshi in Nodame Cantabile as Chiaki Shinichi.

Really really good acting!! He’s the best Japanese actor for me. Ever. I may be a little biased, but seriously, I don’t think anyone will be able to say that this guy’s not a good actor. Fangirls and critics have similar opinions on that, right? So, right now I think Tamaki’s gotten too thin, but I’m hoping he’ll go back to his “Chiaki-look” because seriously, it was just perfect.

2. Sorimachi Takashi in Wonderful Life as Kirishima Akira.

So I loved him so much in GTO, I saw 3 more of his dramas right after. And when I found this, I realized that there’s no going back. I <3 Sorimachi Takashi. So much so that as I watched this drama, there were times when I actually forgot to read the subtitles because I was too busy looking at his face. Haha! *embarrassed*

Because of that, he gets not one, but two screenshots! Hehehe. Favoritism ito!

1. Yasutoko Takeshi in the Asian X-Tour 2003 in Manila as himself.

The only non-actor in the bunch, but the one I love the most. Hehehe! And he’s also the only reason why “event” is part of the sentence pattern. Hehe, because he hasn’t been in any dramas nor movies of course! Anyway, I will never forget the time I saw him in person and got his autograph, too! I wish I had my picture taken with him, but cameras weren’t as common then as they are now. *sigh* And I only have my memory to rely on. Oh, and this picture taken by another fan, which I got from the Takeshi Yasutoko mailing list (Yes, there is one. And I’m a member of it).

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And that’s all! No, actually that’s not all. You may have noticed that all of those guys I mentioned are Japanese. Actually, I had a longer list that included celebrities from the Philippines, Hollywood and other Asian countries, but it was just too long! So I decided to cut it, and tell you about the Japanese celebrities first since they’re the ones dominating that list anyway. (Actually, these aren’t all the Japanese guys I listed. There’s Tsumabuki Satoshi and Matsuken and Tatsuya Fujiwara and a bunch of others still.) But I’ll probably post that on some other day. Seriously, it was hard writing this! (And looking for the screenshots!)

P.S. I also temporarily changed the theme of my blog to accommodate the pictures. Not kidding! Since most of the pictures have the actors facing left, I had to find a theme with the sidebar on the left so it’d still follow the rules of layouting. I’m kind of OC that way. Hehe. If you like this theme better though, just tell me. And maybe I won’t change it.

The Dark Knight

Again, this won’t be a movie review. Because… I am just at a loss for words. This time though, it’s a Hollywood movie that’s made me feel this way. And that’s saying something, considering I’ve already developed a bias for Asian films. Anyway, I still want to say stuff about this movie, but I don’t want to label it as a “review” because that makes it sound official, and this is just a random fan’s opinion.

Christian Bale

Whoever thought of re-making the Batman series and putting Christian Bale on it, and as Bruce Wayne, no less, is a freakin’ Casting Genius. I swear. I have a new title for Christian Bale now: He’s the guy you cast, when there’s no one else to cast. Seriously. Bruce Wayne is one of the coolest characters ever in history, and that makes him really hard to cast, because a real person just can’t possibly be as cool as Bruce Wayne, right? But gosh, Christian Bale so is.

See, I’ve never really been convinced of the other actors who played Bruce Wayne. I think Adam West wasn’t “dark” enough (but then, his Batman series wasn’t a dark series at all), Michael Keaton wasn’t handsome enough (though he did make a pretty good pair with Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman), Val Kilmer was too blonde, and George Clooney, ugh, I don’t even want to talk about him. But then, just when I thought that they couldn’t possibly find anyone cool enough to play Bruce Wayne (remember that rumor in the Smallville series, where they said that there would be an episode with the “Bruce Wayne” character in it, but because they couldn’t find an actor for the character, they just cancelled the episode?), they came up with Christian Bale. *dreamy sigh* And he’s perfect.

There’s another actor like this, although he’s more suited to the quirky roles instead of the cool ones, can you guess who it is? It’s Johnny Depp! But this post isn’t about him, so…

Maggie Gyllenhaal

Have I ever told anyone that I just hate hate hate Katie Holmes?!?!!? I think I would’ve really loved the first Batman movie with Christian Bale if she wasn’t in it. And I normally don’t like it when they change actresses in the middle of a movie series (or a TV series), but in this case, it was a really good call. Maggie Gyllenhaal, although her character’s part here was smaller than in the first, really brought depth to Rachel. I feel bad that she wasn’t in the first movie. But I’m glad anyway that they didn’t put Katie Holmes in this one. She would’ve totally ruined it.

Aaron Eckhart

Aaron Eckhart was so cool. Really. I’ve only seen him in that movie with Catherine Zeta-Jones, No Reservations, and he was a pretty normal “nice guy” in there. So I’m happy to find out that he can play “not normal” roles as well. And here’s a confession: It took me until the very end why he was always called “The White Knight”. Duh! I’m so stupid sometimes. Hehehe.

Heath Ledger

Waaaahh!! I still feel soooo sad about him. I mean, he finally gets to show everyone how good of an actor he is, but now he’s dead. It’s so sad!! His Joker is just… He wasn’t just one of those villains that you just feel like killing. He really gets you scared. I think he might even cause nightmares to the kids who watched this. If I didn’t love Heath Ledger so much, and didn’t know what he looked like as a teeny bopper leading man, I’d probably have nightmares too. Still though, I guess it’s a good way to go. At least he finished with flying colors, right?

Cameos

Okay, okay, I really just want to talk about Edison Chen, but Cillian Murphy did a cameo too and I’m also happy about that. Wow, this movie had so many good-looking guys in it, huh? Even just for cameo appearances. I mean, it’s like Ocean’s Eleven, but I don’t think they intentionally put that many famous people in it.

Anyway, about Edison Chen’s role, my friend E told me that once the Hong Kong scene started, I shouldn’t blink or I’ll miss it. Good advice, really because Edison’s appearance was for maybe just about 2 seconds. You’d miss it if you weren’t looking. Or, if you weren’t a fan girl.

I actually knew it was him even before his face was shown. How did I know? Well, I heard his voice. He was the one who said something like “For security purposes we’ll require you to…” so that Morgan Freeman’s character would leave his cellphone in the lobby. I recognized his voice, and knew it was him, even with his back turned. Yey, that’s fangirling for you.

And… what else? Story was absolutely… It was really really really good. It definitely defies the “superhero” genre. Really really. I’m still in awe, 4 hours after I saw it. I’ll just leave you with some pictures. Watch The Dark Knight!! (P.S. It was also really cool when Commissioner Gordon said that “The Dark Knight” line.)

Coolest poster ever.

Edison Chen and Morgan Freeman looking cool (and dark).